Womanly Inspiration

I just read a wonderful article on the grand investments of homemakers. It can become so easy to lose sight of our priorities as wives and mothers, and this article really hit home for me and made me remember that the investments that I make in my family are the most important ones right now.

I encourage you to read the article here.

The article really blessed me and I hope that it does the same for you!

A Rules Marriage on Real Housewives

I enjoy watching The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. It is one of my favorite shows. I love all of the beautiful homes and scenery, and just watching the women interact with their families.

My favorite housewife is Kyle Richards Umansky. She is a beautiful woman with a very handsome husband who seems to adore her, and four beautiful daughters. Blessed life! I think it's sweet that she has four children, considering she lives in Beverly Hills and is a former actress. Most people in general keep it at two children, especially the rich and fabulous.

Her husband seems to adore her. The way he looks at her and interacts with her just exudes love. I'm sure it's because of the way that she carries herself. She seems to be a strong, confident, feminine woman who is sure of herself, and won't take any nonsense from anyone, including him! Which, of course, makes him love her all the more I'm sure.

One of my favorite dating books to read when I was single was The Rules by Ellen Fein and Sherrie Schneider. It basically talks about having high standards when you are dating and having confidence in yourself. To believe and know that you are a unique woman and carry yourself as such. When women follow these rules, which many are old-fashioned rules that your grandmother would tell you to do, they will be much smarter about relationships and how to carry themselves in it. Most are things that my grandmother and mother told me to do, but it was still an informative and entertaing read. A Rules Girl is one who follows these rules and eventually marries the man of her dreams.



Kyle Umansky seems like a Rules Girl who ended up in a Rules Marriage. Way to go!

Another interesting tidbit is that her sister is Kathy Hilton, who has been married to her husband, Rick for 31 years. She married at 20 and has four children as well. When asked what was the secret to a long, happy marriage she told OK! magazine,

In addition to hard work, respect and date nights a couple times a week, it’s vital not to take one another for granted.
“Never get too, too comfortable, I believe. And be a little mysterious, unpredictable in a sense. You don’t want to wear your hair the same way all the time. Always keep things fresh and fun.”

I love hearing stories of loving marriages and happy families. Have a great weekend!

One of my birthday gifts a few weeks ago was a gift card to Victoria's Secret. Initially, I wasn't super excited about my gift, but once I entered the store, gift card in hand, I was so thankful for my gift.

I purchased a number of very feminine, frilly underthings, and I felt so good when I left the store. While shopping for my items I was reminded of how important it is for women to have pretty underthings. Even while growing up, my mother made sure that I had pretty slips, camisoles, and other underthings. Her mother had impressed upon her the importance of always looking your best, from your undergarments to your outergarments. It makes you feel even more feminine, and it's just important to care about your overall appearance.


I admit that after I had my son I slipped in this department, much to my husband's dismay, due to nursing and putting comfort over beauty. But, I made sure to go back to making sure that I always look feminine and pretty with my outergarments as well as my undergarments.

Little girls should be used to having pretty and girly, t-shirts, camisoles, slips, etc. Impart to them the importance of grooming and taking good care of themselves. It may seem like a minor thing to many women, but once you actually take the time to invest in beautiful, feminine undergarments, especially comfortable ones, then it will only enhance your femininity and beauty.

And, there's nothing like a beautiful hatbox or lingerie chest to keep your pretty things in, and having a pretty chest or hatbox for your little princess' pretty garments!



The beauty just inspires me. Seeing and wearing beautiful things just uplifts and inspires me. It's definitely a worthwhile investment.



Check out Raising Homemakers for more homemaking inspiration.

Marry Wisely So You Can Be A Homemaker

Last week I discussed how important it is for us as mothers to help cultivate a spirit of service in our daughters to help prepare them for motherhood.

In raising a homemaker, I aspire to raise a daughter who loves Jesus and serves Him, who delights in taking care of others, who uses her gifts to the glory of God, who is a competent cook, can clean efficiently, and basically run a smooth running home. In other words, create a wonderful home for her family.

There is something else that I want to encourage my daughter to do as she grows up:

Marry a man who will protect and provide for her, and SUPPORTS her being a homemaker!

Lakita Garth, a powerful woman of God who inspired me greatly when I was in college, said that two of the greatest decisions that we will ever make are 1. Who we will serve. (Jesus) and 2. Who we will marry.

Both of those decisions greatly affect the rest of our life. I did not understand how who we married could be number two on the list, but I understand now.

Who we decide to marry influences our life, even whether or not we can be homemakers or not!

There are women who want to stay home, but do not because their husbands do not want them to be at home with their young children, and these women feel they must submit to their husbands and remain working outside of the home.

Of course, a wise woman will discuss whether her future spouse supports her desire to stay at home BEFORE they marry.

A wise older woman told me to make sure to marry a man who supported me in staying at home. It is not fair to marry someone and expect their views to change, because what if they do not? If being a stay at home mother is important to you, then do not marry someone who does not support that.

So, I want to train my daughter to be an excellent homemaker, but also to look for a man who is Godly and who supports being the sole financial provider while she stays home with the children. Even if it's for a season. Young children need a mother at home. As they get older, the situation may change, and so can circumstances. But, it's important for a young lady to marry a man who will support her in her endeavors to be a homemaker, if she knows up front that being a homemaker at home with her children is what she wants to do.

Making Marriage Work Part 2

The other week I wrote about making marriage work. I wondered about whether couples should try to make things work when a spouse commits infidelity, especially on a continuous basis. There has been so much talk in the media, and around dinner tables about marriage and cheating, and whether women should stay with their cheating husbands.

It has really made me think about whether a woman should try to fight for the marriage, or if it's doomed after a man perpetually cheats on her. I do not have the answers, but I've read some interesting things about having faith in the Lord to heal a broken marriage, and to try to be the best wife you can be, despite difficult circumstances.

Here is an excerpt of a testimony written to Debi Pearl from a wife that dealt with her husband's infidelity, and how she overcame it.

Allow me to start my letter by stating that I am a 34-year-old African-American female Chicagoan. I feel this is important to say because when first learning of your Created To Be His Help Meet book, I thought, that was not for today’s black family.

Shame on me, but I am typing this so others will not opt out of their blessing based upon stereotyping.

I have been married to my H.S. sweetheart for 13 years. Believe me, it has not been as sweet as it sounds. I come from a family of strong, independent black women. This was thought of as a blessing until I took a good look at why ALL the women in my predominantly-female family have been divorced. Yes, ALL OF THEM!
I was well on my way to being divorced myself. My husband and I had been separated for 3 years, 2 of which he had a live-in girlfriend, and 1 ½ years where all three of our daughters were sent to live with them!


You can read the rest here.

photo from I Think I Love My Wife.

Making Marriage Work

I have been thinking a lot lately about making marriage work, and is it more Godly to stay with a spouse who is not good for you, or get a divorce. In the Bible, God does make one concession for divorce, which is adultery.

In Matthew 19:9 He says,

I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery.

So fornication, or sex outside of marriage, is the only way that a Christian can rightfully divorce and be free to remarry.

Ok. There are many Christian teachers or preachers who exhort couples to make their marriage work, even if they are married to someone who is cheating on them. They should strive to do what they can to forgive their spouse and make their marriage even stronger.

Would it be "less Godly" to seek a divorce if your husband cheated?

People always talk about how people stayed together during our grandparents time and before them. Marriages lasted then. But, I know that many of those women endured cheating husbands, and they chose to look the other way. An older cousin of mine said, "I don't know what's wrong with these young women today. They don't know how to endure through a marriage. These days when a husband cheats, the wife divorces him. In our day we were strong women who knew how to endure."

My mother's reply was, "Do you call that strong though?"

If those generations of women divorced their husbands for cheating or physical abuse, what would their divorce rate really have been? Many people say that a cheater is a cheater, and will not change. But, sometimes these older women say that their husbands did change. . . at least to their knowledge.

I do know that divorce is a desvastating experience on all that are included, the spouses, children, and extended family. Is it more "Godly" to stay with a cheating spouse for the sake of having an intact family? Will God bless your desire to honor your marriage vows, even though your spouse did not honor his? Will God change that man and make him faithful? Is it worth it?

Former NFL player, Michael Irvin cheated on his wife numerous times throughout their marriage. She knew about his cheating, but stayed with him. After a couple of years, she gave up arguing with him about it, and just tried to be the best wife she could be, and prayed for her husband.

After abot 11 years of marriage, he finally committed to her and stopped cheating on her. That was a couple of years ago that he said this, so I don't know if he has remained faithful. But, 11 years?! Would you have the patience to wait 11 years for your husband to finally stop cheating on you? T.D. Jakes praised her for being such a God-fearing woman, and for her faith. But, should women look to that and use that as their hope that their husband may one day change?

What if it takes 20 years. Is it worth that?

This is already a long post, so I will continue more in a few days. . .

Check Out Ladies Against Feminism!

Ladies Against Feminism is back! And, I'm so excited. I think I first started reading their website in 2004 or so. I absolutely fell in love with it, and have been a fan ever since. They put into words what I already felt about a woman's role.

They were such a breath of fresh air in a world that was and still is so focused on women having careers and abandoning their homes and families.

Be sure to check out their new website, and enjoy!

Influencing Your Husband towards Christ

I love the courtship story of Mark and Desiree Jackson. He is a former NBA player, and she is a gospel singer. The story of their courtship, and how her commitment to Christ led Mark to Christ is inspirational.

Young ladies, be inspired to be bold in your faith, and not to lower your standards. God will bless your faithfulness!

I am not tech savvy with showing clips, but you can go here. Click on the Feb. 4th show to watch their testimony. Move the green line to an hour into the show, at 1:03:00.

I was really blessed by their testimony, and her strong values as a young woman.

Love and History

This month is Black History month, and in celebration of it, and Valentine's day, I'm going to share inspiring love stories of Black couples throughout the month. I love reading about love, romance, marriage, and family, so why not post about it on the blog?

I'm going to start with one of my favorite love stories, that of Jackie and Rachel Robinson. As many of you know, Jackie Robinson was the first Black to enter the professional baseball league. He was an extraordinary man, and his relationship with his wife, Rachel, was special.



The courtship and marriage of legendary baseball player Jackie Robinson, and his wife, Rachel Robinson is inspiring and beautiful. Their marriage was based on mutual respect, love, admiration and commitment. It inspired me so much, that I became determined to marry a man with Jackie Robinson's qualities. There was more to the man who broke racial barriers by becoming the first Black baseball player to play in the professional leagues.

Jackie Robinson was a man of strong moral courage and conviction. Raised by a single mother whose husband deserted her with five children to raise, Jackie had a close relationship with his mother. Although he was close to following a rough path in life, a young Pastor took him under his wing, and inspired him to develop a stronger faith in God. Jackie Robinson was known as a man who tried to do the right thing. He had character and class.

He met his wife, Rachel Robinson, at UCLA, where they attended college. He was a senior and she was a freshman. She was a nursing student, who was serious about her studies, and a very classy lady. A mutual friend introduced them, and their romance blossomed. They courted for five years, because Rachel wanted to wait until after she had graduated from her 5 year nursing school program. After they married, Rachel became a homemaker, and focused on tending to their home and supporting her husband.



What makes their marriage so inspiring and beautiful is because Jackie Robinson was an athlete who withstood temptation and chose his wife every time. Teammates joked and teased him about his fidelity to his wife. While most of his teammates chased women, drank alcohol, smoked, etc, he remained steadfast to his commitment and loyalty to his wife, and to living a life that was above reproach. His teammates attested to the fact that he was so straightlaced, and did not have other women.

One of his roommates, Joe Black, said, "When he'd be on that phone talking to Rachel, I mean, you could feel the excitement exuding through his body. You could feel the love going from his voice to her, flowing to her."

In a letter that he wrote to her he talked about trying to be the best husband that he could be, and he tells her, "It seems my habits make you sometimes doubt me but there is no question in my mind that my marriage is the greatest thing that could have happened to me. All the other honors are really secondary and Darling someday I'll prove it. I hope it will be soon. I will do everything to prove it."



He credited her for much of his success, saying that she, "was the one person who really kept me from throwing up my hands in despair many times; she was my strongest support during these trials. . . She always had the wise suggestion, the comforting touch, the encouragement to go on which carried me through. . . I can truly say that my rise to baseball fame is mainly due to my wife."

Jackie and Rachel Robinson are role models. Not only for what they accomplished as breaking barriers in baseball, but for what they stood for as a couple. They exemplified true commitment, loyalty, respect and love. And, it's an example that is needed for many couples today.

Power of A Praying Wife

I always enjoy reading stories about love, marriage, and children. Especially about Christian couples, and how they were able to endure difficulties and overcome them. A couple of years ago I saw this story on CBN, and I was really touched by it. It was about Michael and Cammy Franzese. Michael Franzeze was a notorious mob leader, and he married Cammy, who was a Christian. She had no idea that he was in the mob while they courted, or even after they married. After a few years of marriage, she started to put two and two together, and realized that he was in the mob.

What was important to Michael was that Cammy didn't tell him to get out of the mob. She didn't tell him to either choose the mob, or their family together. Instead she prayed fervently, along with her mother, for Michael to get out of the mob. What followed is an inspiration, and to read more, go here.

Their story ministers to me, and shows how being a praying wife can bring miraculous results in a marriage.

Being a Fascinating Woman

I read the book, Fascinating Womanhood, in 2004, a year after I graduated college, and when I read through the book I was simply amazed! It sounded so old-fashioned and wholesome, and, I loved it!!! The author, Helen Andelin, articulated so well about a woman's role, and what leads to ultimate happiness for a woman, and it resonated so well with me, because I instinctively knew these thngs in my heart. But reading the book was so inspiring and renewed within me the desire to become the best woman that I could be.

Earlier this week I stumbled upon The Secrets of Fascinating Womanhood, which you can download for free, and I have been reading it on my computer as I have time. Since I have been married, I usually reread through the book whenever I have a particular problem with something, and it inspires me to work on being the best woman and wife that I can be. I have been challenged and convicted while reading through this online resource to be a better wife to my husband.

How sad I was, however, when I learned that Helen Andelin had passed away on June 7th. I am thankful to her for writing such an inspiring and powerful book, and I hope that many women who want to help their marriage become the best that it can be, will read the book and learn from it, like I have.

I encourage you to read The Secrets of Fascinating Womanhood, and see if it is an inspiration to you. It shows how women actually work though Fascinating Womanhood and the results for them. So far I have enjoyed reading it, and I hope you will too.

Choose Your Husband Wisely

I have heard reports that Rihanna and Chris Brown have gotten married. It's already been established that they have gotten back together, which seems ludicrous, but now it's circulating that they have gotten married. All I can think of, is why set yourself up for further heartache?

When I was in college, I heard a powerful abstinence educator and speaker, Lakita Garth, speak at the church that I attended. And, she said that after choosing who you are going to serve ( God), who you choose to marry is the second most important decision that you can make in your life. And, I COMPLETELY AGREE with her! Marriage is not to be taken lightly, and it can change your entire life, if you choose incorrectly. Choosing wrongly not only affects you, but affects any children that you may have together, your parents, and other family members.

I encourage any young unmarried woman to pray, pray, pray before they choose to marry someone. Search his character, his work ethic, what his views are on certain things. Check out his friends. Seek the advice of your parents, and other wise, loving adults and see what their opinion is of the person that you are interested in marrying.

It doesn't matter if you are 30, 35, or 40, and still single. It is much better to be happily single, than miserably married! Once married, you have to submit to your husband, and follow and support his vision. You will build a family, etc. I encourage ladies to not allow anything, not a ticking biological clock, family pressure, or anything, influence them to marry someone who is not suitable for them. Doing so only leads to greater heartache down the road.

Hold out, ladies. Hold out for the man who cherishes you, is kind and loving to you, is considerate of your time and feelings, who wants to provide for you and any future children that you may have, whose heart is committed to God, who has a teachable spirit, who seeks to live a Godly lifestyle, whose life goals line up with yours. Waiting for someone who loves and adores you is worth waiting for. Don't give your treasure(you) to someone who doesn't even understand your value. Because when someone doesn't understand the value of something, they are much more likely to abuse it, and not take proper care of it.

Faith

So, today, I woke up early again, and completed a writing assignment. I was proud about that. Yeah, two days in a row!!

I was feeling kind of bummed a bit today, because my husband found out yesterday that he will be getting out of the military on disability. Now, on the one hand, I'm excited because we will be able to live close to our families. But, on the other hand, I'm kind of nervous. Well, quite a bit nervous, because this is not a good time to leave a secure job and try to find another one. I truly thrive on security. (Well, maybe I don't totally, since I did quit my job, knowing that I had debts to pay.) But, anyways, I'm kind of scared. I kind of like being a part of military life. There's guaranteed housing, paycheck, insurance. And, I like that.

My husband tells me to just trust him, that everything is going to work out fine. Now is the time for the whole wifely submission thing. Just trust your husband and submit to his leadership. Of course, that is much easier said than done. I keep thinking, "What if he doesn't find another job?" "How long would he go before he finds another one?" All kinds of thoughts are running through my head.

This morning, I thought to myself that I need to just trust God in this situation. He will provide. He has been doing just that so far. The God who has enabled me to find work from home to earn money, is the same God who will help my husband find a job. (I hope!!!) O me of little faith! :(

I have no choice but to trust in God at this time, and pray that everything will fall into place as it should. And, pray for my husband, that God leads him in the direction that he should go. The more I pray about it, the better I feel.

Full time job . . . being a wife????

I began my adventures with reading blogs by first reading articles from the website, Ladies Against Feminism. I learned a lot from the website and blogs from contributing writers of their articles. Never before in my life had I heard, until I read from their website, that women actually were stay at home wives. And it was their choice. And it is actually encouraged among these women again feminism. Well, I agreed with most things on their site, but staying at home when you're just a wife, and you don't have any children seemed a little extreme. I mean, I didn't personally know anyone who did that and no one ever talked about quitting their job after they got married. I just considered it one of those things that I didn't quite endorse, but it's not a bad thing . . . just something that I couldn't understand how someone could justify saying that being a wife is a full-time job.

That is, until I became a wife! My husband and I have been married almost 11 months, and I've been pregnant for almost 8 months. Living out my daily duties as a wife can be quite overwhelming, especially while working. I attributed my lack of energy to pregnancy, but after coming home from work the last thing I wanted to do was cook dinner and clean the kitchen. Laundry? When there was a large load of clothes needing to be washed, and even then, how long would it take me to fold them? Days and days after they were cleaned. A totally clean house? Not quite. I figured as long as the kitchen and living room were presentable, then I was doing a pretty good job. On the weekends, I wanted to relax, not clean the house. I did my bit here and there, but . . . wait, why am I speaking in the past tense, as if this is not still going on? Being a wife is a full time job when you think about having nutritious, filling dinners ready every night, laundry caught up and put away, the whole house is clean and organized, managing the money so that it is spent wisely and trying to budget everything, paying bills, being a companionable wife when your husband is home, making sure that you look pleasing and attractive when he is around, and still have some time to do some things that you are interested in - yes it is a full time job.

At homeliving.blogspot.com, Lady Lydia says in her recent article that you can't serve two masters. You can't put your all into both being a homemaker and into your career. One has to give. And, sadly, I must admit, that being a homemaker has been the part that has suffered for me. I'm trying to work as much as I can before the baby arrives, so I will feel more comfortable financially staying home with the baby. But, I admit, that I have felt quite overwhelmed in the process. Yes, my husband helps out around the house, but still the bulk falls to me, and I know that I am not giving it my all. I'm too tired. Can I blame pregnancy on this?? I would like to, and I've realized that laziness and being a good wife do not go hand in hand.

All I can say is that there is true merit in being a stay at home wife, even though I am not one, oh, how I wish that I were. I'm just not in the position to do that yet. I will post soon about things that unmarried ladies should consider before they get married, to help them be able to stay at home after marriage and be a successful homemaker. Not that I'm an expert, just things that I wish I had had the sense to realize before I became a wife.