The Blessing of Girls

Yesterday I watched a show on the Discovery Health channel entitled, "8 Boys Wanting a Girl". The show followed a couple of families who had boys who were desperate to have a girl. One woman had 8 sons, and was hoping for a girl. Her very first child was a girl who did not make it full term, and she has grieved for that daughter that she should have had and has never had.

Two other women had four boys. One tried one more time to get pregnant and she prayed fervently that this fifth child that she was carrying would be a girl, because this was her last time trying. She went to the doctor for the ultrasound and found out that she was carrying. . . another boy. She broke down in tears and quickly composed herself and said it was ok and that she was fine.

Later in the show she said she did not know what to do with her sadness over knowing that she will never have a daughter.

The other lady that had four boys tried a type of in vitro fertilization that allows parents to choose the sex that they want and have that embryo implanted in them. They had 8 embryos and only one was a girl. She was very excited.

The doctors implanted the female embryo, and told her to take a pregnancy test in 9 days to confirm that she was pregnant, and that everything was a success.

She took her pregnancy test, and sadly, she was not pregnant. She was crushed and broke down into tears.

I was completely fascinated watching this show. Astoundingly, the last woman profiled had four boys and was not married to the father, and refused to marry him until they had daughters. They did the in vitro fertilization that allows you to choose the sex, and they ended up with twin girls.

She married the father, and she said that is so thankful,and that it was completely worth it. Her girls are everything that she hoped for and more.

Now, for the commentary:

Most of the women on the show said that people thought they were crazy for wanting a girl so badly, and that they should just be thankful for the children they already have. And, these women wanted to feel that way too, but they just couldn't shake their strong desires for a girl.

It sounds so selfish and absurd, but, honestly,. . . I could relate to them in a way.

Is it right? I don't think so. But, is it a feeling that many women have? Yes.

It sounds sad and pathetic, but I understood what these women were feeling to some degree, because I felt the same way with my own children.



Growing up I always wanted to have a son first, and then a daughter. I always wanted to end up having two boys and two girls. After being a teacher, though, I began to really long for having a daughter.

In my thinking boys were a handful: they were super active, always had to be moving around, always into things, most of my behavior problems were boys. And, the thing was they weren't bad boys. Most of them were kind hearted and good boys, but they were just so active!!

Most of my girl students on the other hand were sweet and quiet and sat attentively in class, and it did not take much to get them back in line if they were disruptive. Afer being a teacher I couldn't wait to have a little girl of my own, plus there were sooooo many cute things for little girls.

When I got pregnant with my first child, I just assumed I was having a girl, and daydreamed about all of the cute stuff she would have, the fun things we would do, and that I would have a little person like me. When my husband and I were at the doctor to find out the sex of the baby and I found out it was a boy, I was crushed. I surprised myself with how crushed I was.

Embarrasingly, tears sprang to my eyes, and I tried to hide them, but my husband saw them and looked at me with bewilderment. After leaving the doctor's office he told me that he couldn't believe I was crying over having a boy. I should be thankful just to have a healthy baby. Of course, I knew he was right, but it did nothing to stop the sadness over not having a little girl. All I could think about were the little boys I used to teach, and how superactive they were, and I thought what life would be like ahead.

But, as my pregnancy went along, I became more and more excited about his arrival. When I had him, I was so overwhelmed with joy and happiness, and he has been a true blessing in my life.

When I found out I was expecting again I prepared myself for having another boy. When we went to find out the sex, I was so nervous, and silently prayed for a girl. I was so excited when I found out I was having a girl.

I was so excited that wasn't even that sad about having another C-section. I was really upset about having a C-section the first time, and was depressed about it for awhile afterwards. Anyways, I was laying on the operating table just giddy with excitement, not even caring that I'm having another C-section, I just couldn't wait to meet my daughter.

So, I could relate in some ways with what these women felt. And I felt bad for them, because I know that there are blessings with having both boys and girls. Have you ever noticed when a woman has one of each sex, people are like, oh good, you have one of each now. It's a blessing to have children, period. But, it's also great to have boys and girls, and not just one sex.

Obviously if a couple just has one sex of children they have to be thankful for what they have and realize that God doesn't make a mistake.




So, what's so great about having girls:

1. You can do girly things with them.
2. They are like human baby dolls that you get to dress up and enjoy. :)
3. You can train a little homemaker and have a helper in the kitchen and around the house.
4. You have someone to pass on womanly wisdom to, and see that wisdom manifest in her life.
5. You have someone to go shopping with and go to tea with. I love afternoon tea, and I have a little girl that can share in that pastime with.
6. In a way, you can relive your own childhood. You get to reexperience playing with dolls, having tea with your dolls, and just remembering how you were as a girl.
7. As they get older, you (hopefully) have a best friend. My mother is definitely one of my best friends, and we have always had a close, special relationship. My grandmother is one of my mother's best friends. And, I hope when my daughter is older that we will be best friends too.
8. There are many more. . .

Boys are blessings too, no doubt, and I will do another post about the joys of boys.
Watching the show just struck a chord in me and I understood their sadness. Having a girl is a blessed thing for many reasons, and I am thankful that God blessed me with one of each.

Who Is Raising The Children?

I've been taking classes toward my teacher recertification, which has been a good experience for the most part. I'm taking a class on Dialects, which I thought would be extremely boring, but it has turned out to be relatively interesting. So, yesterday the class started doing short presentations about our research projects, and one lady presented on how her children speak differently and she wanted to research how children acquire language. Her husband is from Virginia and one of her daughters speaks with a Virginian accent and the other daughter speaks with more of a Southern accent.

The professor then shared his experience and said that his daughters had the same experience. The woman who cared for his children had a very strong Southern accent, and he and his wife do not. But, for the longest time his children did, because of being around her.

And he said, "It was amazing that my children had the exact same accent as the woman who raised them, . . . I mean, who helped to raise them."

I thought to myself, no, you had it right the first time. The woman who raised them.

When women go to work and leave the care of their children with someone else everyday for the majority of the children's waking hours, then that person is raising them.

And it's sad.

The other day a radio personality talked about the guilt that so many working mothers face. They feel guilty for not being there for their children, and so they try to make up for it with material things, and trying to give them everything that they want. Which, obviously, does more harm than good. Material things cannot make up for a mother's absence in the home.

There are many women that feel that they must work to help their family, and I think the best solution to that is working part-time or working from home if possible. With the economy as it is it can be very challenging for families right now. But, I don't think that children have to be completely abandoned for a family to stay afloat.

Raising children, especially during the first 3- 5 years is so crucially important to do while being home with them. I think whatever sacrifice is necessary to take to ensure that a mother is home with her children during their most informative years is worth it. There is always time to go back to a career. But, you can never get back the years that you are the center of your child's world.

Disney Princess

I've been watching The Princess and the Frog over the past couple of days, and I must say that the movie is growing on me.

I love the whole Disney Princess thing, and I was SOOO excited when I heard about the movie being made. I was so happy because I had lamented the fact that there was no Black princess for years before the movie came out. I remembered thinking, I want my little girl to have a Black princess to look at. And now she does, and I'm excited about that.

When we went to see the movie last year, I was. . . disappointed. I had such high hopes and was so excited to see the movie. I was let down. Mainly because she was a frog for at least half of the movie.

My two year old absolutely adores Princess Tiana and here are some of the things that I love about the movie:

*Princess Tiana is pretty.

*She has a strong work ethic.

*Her singing, "Almost There" in her soon to be restaurant.

*The beautiful animation.

*The prince and princess make a handsome couple.

*The first half of the movie before she turns into a frog.

*That she was a feminine, kind hearted, and lovely young lady.

*Did you notice that most Disney princesses always wear dresses throughout the entire movie? In this movie all the women in the movie wear dresses, and it's just. . .nice, I guess.

What I did not like:

(Before becoming a parent I used to think some parents were being over the top when they said that many children's movies and shows are actually not suitable for them and contain things that should not be viewed. Case in point here. I have to fast forward through various scenes.)

- I did not like the whole voodoo aspect in the movie. I had to fast forward through those scenes. I think they are inappropriate for young children.

-Some parts were VERY crude, like the guy who shot the bug out of his nose. Absolutely disgusting!

-The fact that they were frogs through most of the movie.

-Princess Tiana was a frog for half of the movie.

-She spent most of her time being a frog.

Ok. Other than that I really enjoyed the movie. My favorite Disney character is Belle from Beauty and the Beast, because she loves to read and the movie is just so wonderful. I was hoping to like this movie just as much or more, but that did not quite happen. Maybe if she had been a human throughout the entire movie, or the majority of it at least.

Protecting Our Children

I watched The Oprah Show last Friday which featured Tyler Perry and 200 men who were victims of childhood sexual abuse. The show was heartbreaking to watch. Oprah shared the statistics that 1 out of 4 girls are sexually abused by the age of 18, and that 1 out of 6 boys are sexually abused by the age of 18. My jaw dropped. I couldn't believe it.

Many people when having daughters think about how they have to watch out for their daughters so they are not taken advantage of. Most people don't think about being overprotective with their boys. But, now, parents really need to be.




It makes me consider being an overprotective parent. I know in our society overprotective parents are kind of made fun of, and often told to loosen up, let their child go and have fun, you don't have to be around them all the time, etc. But, now I'm thinking being overprotective is the best and safest way to raise my children.Many of these stories these young boys shared involved trusted males in their lives from fathers to stepfathers, uncles, older counsins, priests and other church leaders, boy scout leaders, and even teachers! It's scary!!

It makes me feel distrustful of leaving my children alone while they are young with anyone besides their grandparents.

While watching the show I thought about Elizabeth Krueger whose wonderful website, Raising Godly Tomatoes, has great advice for raising Godly children. She talks about how she keeps her children close to her, and doesn't really allow them to associate with people outside of their family. When they do socialize with others it's as a family. She doesn't allow her teenagers to hang out with their friends without parental supervision.

When I first read about that on her website I thought maybe that was taking it a bit overboard, but now I'm not so sure. I think while children are young, up to their teen years children need to be very closely observed and mainly kept around their family if at all possible. I think doing otherwise is just too risky this day and age.




And honestly, it's not just this day and age, this has been going on for awhile. Most of the men on the show were in their 30-50's, some even older than that. So this is not somethng new. I know of an older relative in her 50's who said that her parents went fishing many weekends and left her and her siblings in the care of their aunt and her family. She has often said that she wished that her parents were more observant and protected them more, because things went on there that shouldn't have. She has been molested by family members, and feels that if her mother had been more watchful then it probably wouldn't have happened.

I just feel that parents have a responsiblity to protect their children, even if it means being overprotective. Sure, allow children to have their friends come over, allow yourself a break now and then and let them stay with grandparents or someone you really trust. But, for the most part, I think children need to be with their parents where they can keep a watchful eye on their children and raise and train them up in the way that they should go.

A Rules Marriage on Real Housewives

I enjoy watching The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. It is one of my favorite shows. I love all of the beautiful homes and scenery, and just watching the women interact with their families.

My favorite housewife is Kyle Richards Umansky. She is a beautiful woman with a very handsome husband who seems to adore her, and four beautiful daughters. Blessed life! I think it's sweet that she has four children, considering she lives in Beverly Hills and is a former actress. Most people in general keep it at two children, especially the rich and fabulous.

Her husband seems to adore her. The way he looks at her and interacts with her just exudes love. I'm sure it's because of the way that she carries herself. She seems to be a strong, confident, feminine woman who is sure of herself, and won't take any nonsense from anyone, including him! Which, of course, makes him love her all the more I'm sure.

One of my favorite dating books to read when I was single was The Rules by Ellen Fein and Sherrie Schneider. It basically talks about having high standards when you are dating and having confidence in yourself. To believe and know that you are a unique woman and carry yourself as such. When women follow these rules, which many are old-fashioned rules that your grandmother would tell you to do, they will be much smarter about relationships and how to carry themselves in it. Most are things that my grandmother and mother told me to do, but it was still an informative and entertaing read. A Rules Girl is one who follows these rules and eventually marries the man of her dreams.



Kyle Umansky seems like a Rules Girl who ended up in a Rules Marriage. Way to go!

Another interesting tidbit is that her sister is Kathy Hilton, who has been married to her husband, Rick for 31 years. She married at 20 and has four children as well. When asked what was the secret to a long, happy marriage she told OK! magazine,

In addition to hard work, respect and date nights a couple times a week, it’s vital not to take one another for granted.
“Never get too, too comfortable, I believe. And be a little mysterious, unpredictable in a sense. You don’t want to wear your hair the same way all the time. Always keep things fresh and fun.”

I love hearing stories of loving marriages and happy families. Have a great weekend!

One of my birthday gifts a few weeks ago was a gift card to Victoria's Secret. Initially, I wasn't super excited about my gift, but once I entered the store, gift card in hand, I was so thankful for my gift.

I purchased a number of very feminine, frilly underthings, and I felt so good when I left the store. While shopping for my items I was reminded of how important it is for women to have pretty underthings. Even while growing up, my mother made sure that I had pretty slips, camisoles, and other underthings. Her mother had impressed upon her the importance of always looking your best, from your undergarments to your outergarments. It makes you feel even more feminine, and it's just important to care about your overall appearance.


I admit that after I had my son I slipped in this department, much to my husband's dismay, due to nursing and putting comfort over beauty. But, I made sure to go back to making sure that I always look feminine and pretty with my outergarments as well as my undergarments.

Little girls should be used to having pretty and girly, t-shirts, camisoles, slips, etc. Impart to them the importance of grooming and taking good care of themselves. It may seem like a minor thing to many women, but once you actually take the time to invest in beautiful, feminine undergarments, especially comfortable ones, then it will only enhance your femininity and beauty.

And, there's nothing like a beautiful hatbox or lingerie chest to keep your pretty things in, and having a pretty chest or hatbox for your little princess' pretty garments!



The beauty just inspires me. Seeing and wearing beautiful things just uplifts and inspires me. It's definitely a worthwhile investment.



Check out Raising Homemakers for more homemaking inspiration.

Strange Thoughts. . . Or Not So Strange

I've been feeling weird lately. Strange thoughts. Thoughts that I didn't think I would have for a loooooong time, or maybe not again. I'm almost scared to write it. . .but, . . . I kind of want another. . . oh, dare I say it,. . . baby.

I'm tempted to delete this post, because the last time that I thought, "Hmm, it would be nice to have another baby," I got pregant soon after. So, I have purposely pushed thoughts of more children out of my head.

When my son was 2 months old, I actually began to want another baby because it seemed like he was growing so fast. I figured another baby would help ease the sadness of him growing so fast. These were passing thoughts, because I don't think I actually wanted to get pregannt so fast( which was the following month).

It has been very busy having two children close together, and I haven't even entertained the thought of having another one.

But, lately when I see little babies with their mothers, I feel a twinge of. . . longing I guess. I would enjoy nursing and caring for another baby, and seeing my children be a big brother and sister. I think it would be fun.

It's a thought. It may pass. But, now I see why women have five or six children and seem pretty happy about it. It really is a blessing. . . which can sometimes be hard to remember while in the throes of parenting toddlers.