Preparing Girls for Career and Children

I just read an interesting article about Jill Berry, the president of the Girls' School Association, discussing how important it is to give young girls a realistic view of balancing careers with children. She said that it's important to let girls know that it's ok to not work when they have young children or to work part time.

She feels that it is a disservice to young ladies to make them believe that they have to do it all. Of course, some women can, but they need to know that it's okay if they do not try to do it all.

The article states:

A lot of our girls want to have it all. That is perfectly acceptable and anything we can do to prepare them, we will. But we need to make them realistic. At different stages of their lives, they may want different things.

"There is nothing wrong with them saying 'I need to work part-time' or 'I need support in order to enable me to do my career and have children'.

"Women can feel very guilty, whatever path they choose. It is as if they have somehow compromised their principles. What we can do as teachers is prepare them to have aspirations, but not aim for perfection. We can help them recognise that life is about balance."

Berry, who does not have children, said that unless girls were taught this, teachers were "in danger of betraying them".

She said: "There is an unprecedented pressure on girls and more women are going back to work early after having children now. It can all work fine, until their child is ill."

Berry said a top-quality education gave girls the skills to "generate options" for themselves, which could be used both in the workplace, and the home.

You can read more of this article here.

I completely agree that women should be honest with young ladies and let them know that they do not have to be perfect and try to "have it all." I thought it was an excellent article.

This post is linked with:

Raising Homemakers

Women Living Well

Tandem Nursing

Welcome, Carnival of Breastfeeding readers! I've linked up with the June Carnival of Breastfeeding at the site formerly known as Blacktating.

I wrote an article a few years ago for Associated Content about toddler nursing. I've been reading various articles around the internet about the much lower percentage of African American women compared to other races that breastfeed their babies, and I was sad to hear that news.

I have enjoyed breastfeeding for the past almost four years. I related in a previous post about how much I have loved breastfeeding, and I do! My son is three and my daughter is 2 now, so I don't really nurse that much now. My three year old weaned himself around 2 years old, and my daughter occasionally nurses now.

When I first had my daughter, my son was 11 months old, about to turn one in three weeks. He nursed throughout my entire pregnancy, much to the chagrin of various family members, who felt that nursing him would somehow deprive the baby I was carrying of nutrients.

When I had my daughter I couldn't bear the thought of refusing him if he wanted to nurse. I already felt kind of guilty that I had another baby so quickly after having him, so I definitely wasn't going to stop nursing him if he wanted to.

It proved to work out just fine. Nursing pretty much works along the lines of supply and demand. If there is a lot of demand, the milk supply goes up. This explains why mothers of twins and even triplets are able to successfully breastfeed their children.

I allowed my daughter to breastfeed as much as she wanted, and only allowed my toddler to nurse after she was finished eating. I did not want to deprive her. Sometimes my son would whimper and whine to nurse, but he adjusted and he was able to nurse pretty much as much as he wanted, which wasn't a lot by that time. He basically wanted to nurse before naptime and bedtime and sometimes in the morning.

It worked out just fine. I enjoyed nursing my daughter just as much as I enjoyed nursing my son. Breastfeeding makes newborn motherhood SO MUCH EASIER in my opinion. To me it seemed to cure everything for babies; tiredness, hunger, comfort, if they hurt themselves and I nursed them, they IMMEDIATELY stopped crying. I was actually astounded at the powers of nursing. I even wondered why some mothers didn't even try to breastfeed. It's definitely worth trying, and even continuing for at least a year.

If I have another baby, I will definitely breastfeed again, and I look forward to the special bond that is created by doing so. Breastfeeding my first two children was one of the most special and awe-inspiring times in my life. Their sweet little eyes looking up at you with such trust and love.

So sweet.

So precious.

Other mothers sharing their breastfeeding story:

Caramel Chica: Breastfeeding the Second Time Around

Motherwear Breastfeeding Blog: Reasons why breastfeeding is usually easier the second time around.Takisha:

Takisha: Lessons Learned

Mommyhood Doesn't Mean Frumpyhood

I am currently reading the novel, Yummy Mummy by Polly Williams, and it has been an enjoyable read so far. I can so relate to the main character who is struggling with maintaining her old identity and realizing that her new identity as a mother, as well as many other mothers in her mommy circle are, well, . . . frumpy.

This book has made me laugh, but also I've thought about how important it is as mothers to still put forth effort in our appearance. It's easy to hide behind, oh I'm a mother now, it doesn't really matter. But, it does matter.

What are a few things every mommy can do to rejuvenate herself and feel feminine and appealing?

1. Keep fingernails and toenails painted.
Simple, but goes a long way toward feeling feminine and reflecting someone who cares about themselves and their appearance. Before, I usually kept my toes done during the summer, and very rarely had my fingernails done. But, I've decided lately to start doing both and it does put an extra pep in my step, and it just feels good. If you can't afford to go to the salon, just do it yourself!

2. Wear flattering dresses.
Having a couple of cute, casual dresses in your closet can be a lifesaver! Dresses are the most comfortable article of clothing, in my opinion. Your body can breathe and you don't have to find something to match. Just grab a dress and go. Perfect for having small children, and not a lot of time to primp. Make sure it's a dress that flatters your body, and doesn't just hang like a sack.

3. Wear a bit of make-up.
Even if it's just lipstick and blush. Doing that little bit will help you look pulled together and refreshed.

4. Wear heels.
I'm not saying you have to walk around the house in heels, but if you're going out of the house, try wearing some heels. I did this the other day, and I was amazed at how feminine I felt. Before having children, I lived in heels. I did not like flat shoes. After having my children, I wore flat shoes a lot more, because I thought it was more practical. Needless to say, I did not feel as fabulous. Heels look more feminine, and help you feel more feminine.



Those are my top ideas for not being a frumpy mommy. There's nothing wrong with looking pretty while being a mother. It does require extra effort, but the rewards are worth it.

What about you? Are there any other ideas you have for being a yummy mummy?


This post is linked with:

Women Living Well Wednesday
Raising Homemakers

Purpose

I thoroughly enjoyed watching The Oprah Show finale yesterday. I actually kind of teared up at the end.

I loved what she had to say about finding your purpose in life, and when you find it you know it because you just know that that is what you are suuposed to be doing with your life. A person's platform may be a classroom or co-workers, or their family, but however large or small, it's up to us to find out our purpose and live it out.

That really resonated with me, and I feel inspired to make EVERY MOMENT COUNT. My pastor talked about that at church this past Sunday. It's important to live every day to the fullest, and enjoy it, and make it count.

For me that includes being the best wife and mother that I can be, serving others as much as I can, writing, mentoring, connecting with friends and family, and reading great books. Those things bring me such joy and it's important to make sure that I spend time doing the various things that I enjoy.

I'm learning how important it is to be grateful for every blessing that I have, even when times are hard. Being grateful helps you to enjoy your life and live it to the fullest, because you're not wasting time thinking about what you don't have or what else you could be doing. Instead, you're grateful for the time you have now, and the people around you that you can share your life with.

Tests

When I was in college, I remember a pastor saying that when it comes to tests in life, you're either tested on what you teach or you teach what you've been tested on.

I understand that saying more now than ever. I've always believed in being a stay at home mother, whatever the cost, and have encouraged others to stay at home with their children while they are young. But, I have definitely been tested on my convictions lately.

Today is the first day of being home full-time, since I started my part-time job last October. I am so happy and joyous that I'm here with the children, and we have just enjoyed each other, played with play-doh, put puzzles together, and other learning acitivities. It's been a blessing.

But, I know that now more than ever it is imperative that I buckle down with my work from home business, because I want to be here with them at least for the next two years.

But, today, I'm just enjoying being home with my babies. . . exactly where I'm supposed to be.

Womanly Inspiration

I just read a wonderful article on the grand investments of homemakers. It can become so easy to lose sight of our priorities as wives and mothers, and this article really hit home for me and made me remember that the investments that I make in my family are the most important ones right now.

I encourage you to read the article here.

The article really blessed me and I hope that it does the same for you!

Fabulously Pregnant

Pregnant in Heels is one of my new favorite shows to watch. I so enjoy watching shows about pregnancy and motherhood. Motherhood is one of those life changing careers, and I love watching how people respond to the call.

I am completely fascinated by watching mothers on tv. I sometimes laugh to myself, because I can relate to certain funny moments or I cringe because I see a mother do something that I have done, and seeing it from another view, I realize I need to change.

Like my voice, for example. I'm working on using a more gentle and patient voice with my children. If I have to say something more than once to my children, I sometimes get annoyed and take on a strident tone of voice, which, honestly is annoying even to my own ears.

But, when I hear other mothers use that harsh voice, I inwardly cringe, and think, I need to work on that.

So, I'm working on speaking gently, my voice laced with love and patience at all (most?) times. Firm, yet loving. Not strident.

But, anyways, I was saying that I enjoy watching Pregnant in Heels. It is a delightful show that follows Rosie Pope, who created a business catering to pregnant women, from designing maternity clothes, to being a "maternity concierge", as she educates and helps stylish, wealthy women navigate the terrains of pregnancy and motherhood. It seems like a cool business to have.

I have enjoyed seeing her educate mothers-to-be on important baby care-taking tasks, and seeing the transformation in mothers as they fall in love with their baby and realize the importance of their new role as mommy. I just love watching the transforming power of motherhood.