Thursday, July 31, 2008

Time is Ticking

I've mentioned before that I had a C-section with my son last September. And it was a not so great experience. I was in a lot of pain afterward, and it's something that I do not want to go through again, if I don't have to.

However, my various doctors continue to rain on my parade and constantly encourage me to schedule a C-section for this baby, because I'll be delivering only a year after the first C-section. At first I cried when they told me a few months ago. But, I was determined that I wouldn't have one. On Tuesday I had another doctor's appointment, and of course the doctor told me the same thing. I'm starting to accept that I may have another one.

The doctors are afraid that my c-section scar will rupture, which can be fatal for both me and the baby. But, from my research, the chances of that happening are very small. But it can still happen. Right now, I'm just trusting in the Lord that everything works out the way that it should.

I was reading today on Anna's blog about fertility, and I must admit that I'm somewhat afraid to trust God with spacing my children. I got pregnant with my son one month after our wedding, and pregnant with my second when my son was almost 3 months old. So, . . . I'm a little hesitant to trust after this second one. I was all for it with the first, and quite a bit with the second. But, I want to be more financially stable and HEALTHY before I have another child. I'll see what happens, and keep praying about the direction that I should go in.

Monday, July 28, 2008

Time with Grandmother

Last weekend I spent time with my grandmother. I snapped green beans with her and peeled peaches and watched her intently as she made peach cobbler. Hers is the best peach cobbler I have tasted, so I wanted to see exactly what she does. I tidied around her house a bit, and just basically spent time chatting and fellowshipping with her. I had a great time.

My grandmother is a fabulous cook and excellent homemaker. She is very hospitable and gracious with a very kind and generous heart. I want to be a lot like her. It's my goal to glean as many cooking skills and recipes from her. It's so important to be able to cook well. I LOVE eating good food, and it's great when you know how to prepare it yourself. I'm an ok cook, but I'm striving to become an excellent cook and homemaker like my grandmother.

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Time management

I must admit that working from home has its own set of challenges. I have a 10 month old( tomorrow) who is quite active. I would do great if I woke up early in the mornings, but I don't. He is basically my alarm clock, waking me up with his cries in the morning. Only occasionally do I awake before he does.

Naptime is the 1 1/2- 2 hour crunch that I try to cram most of my writing time in. And, then of course, there is late at night, which is another time that I do most of my writing. I'm doing what I have to do, but it would be so nice to just go at a leisurely pace during the day. When he's sleeping, I make a mad dash to the computer to complete writing assignments. Somedays it's great, other days, I dread looking at the computer.

But, I'm going to keep plugging away at it, and pray that I become more efficient with my time. Someone told me that the best work at home jobs for a mom are certain online businesses. With that you simply answer emails and supply the requested items. She didn't go into specifics on how profitable her business was though. But, it's a nice idea.

All you work at home moms out there, I encourage you to keep going. For those who stay at home without trying to earn an income from home, please remember just how blessed you are.

Wednesday, July 9, 2008

Being a stay at home mom was my first career choice

I decided to become a stay at home mother when I was four years old. The reason was because I simply hated to watch my mother prepare to leave to go to work in the mornings. I witnessed this on the days that my Dad was home, due to working the night shift. I also hated daycare. It was a cold, uninviting environment that I dreaded going to. Added to the fact that my daycare teacher was a mean old lady with a perpetual frown on her face. I just hated being there. My experience hating daycare, and being separated from my mother made me want to become a stay at home mother.

Throughout my school years, I pondered various career paths that would be compatible with motherhood. A career that would provide a great deal of flexibility, since I knew that I wanted to stay home upon the arrival of my children. I excelled in school, and was accepted to my number one choice for college, a top university that was about thirty minutes from my home.

Even learning and fellowshipping among some of the nation’s brightest students did nothing to dim my desire to eventually be a stay at home mother. However, it was not something that I would broadcast to others. There was a young woman, though, who was very bold about saying that she wanted to be a homemaker. She had no desire to pursue a career. All she wanted to do was get married and stay at home with her children. Ironically, no one I knew derided her comments. I guess, because secretly, many other young women desired the exact same thing. We admired that she felt confident enough to express such an old-fashioned sentiment on a modern, liberal college campus.

Upon graduation, I became an English teacher, and taught for four years. I wish I had used this time more wisely, and focused on paying off as much of my student loans as possible. But, I didn’t. For one of my loans, for every year that I taught, they cancelled fifteen percent of the loan. That helped tremendously. On the other loan, I paid the minimum amount each month, instead of putting as much money as I could toward paying it off.

Since the birth of my son almost 10 months ago I have mainly been a stay at home mother. Not, that I’m in the financial position to do so, but I chose and continue to choose to walk in faith. For four months I worked part-time as a teacher assistant. I rationalized that it was not as stressful a job as being a full-time teacher. No papers to come home and grade. Not leaving earlier to make sure that my lesson plans for the day went smoothly. But, then my husband’s schedule changed, and going to work part-time would mean putting my son in daycare part-time. That was not an option. So, I quit.

Since that time, I have been praying fervently to God to open up doors to earn money from home, and He has been faithful to supply opportunities. Sometimes I get frustrated, because I’m not reaching my financial goals yet with working from home, but I’m gradually getting there. I realize that nothing is worth me leaving my children in the care of others. God blessed me to have a child and another on the way, and I choose to be the keeper at home that He has called me to be, even when it feels like maybe I should return to working outside the home for financial reasons.

This journey has been a wonderful learning experience, and I have gained greater faith in God and have realized that any dream or goal can come true if you are willing to work hard and sacrifice for it.


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