Happy 3 months!!

My little princess is 3 months old today!! It feels like time has flown by. She is so sweet and precious, and I just thank God everyday for blessing me with a new little gift.

Last night she slept 9 hours through the night!! I was amazed. I mentioned a few weeks ago that I was trying to implement Babywise to a degree, but with no crying it out. Basically, I just try to keep her on a similar routine each day, and feed her a bit more than usual before bedtime. The other night she slept 8 hours.

I'm keeping my fingers crossed that she will continue this. This is a first for me, because my other children never slept this long at this age. But, they may have if I had tried to work on it.

She's a pretty quiet baby who enjoys sitting back watching her brother and sister play and be rambunctious. She absolutely loves when they hug and kiss on her, which is all. the. time! She just smiles and laughs when they get all in her face. It's so cute!

I'm amazed that my older children are so in love with their baby sister. I thought the "new baby high" would have worn off by now, but they are just as excited as when she first came home! It really warms my heart.

Interestingly enough, they continue to talk about when I'm going to have a boy baby in my tummy. Ummmm. . . Not right now kiddos! Let's just enjoy our sweet little baby girl for now!! :)

Linking up with Women Living Well

Regretting children

Yesterday I happened upon a website about being child free. The blog author's goal for writing is to share the beauty of living a child-free lifestyle. She wrote about how the U.S. is such a family and child centered country, and how being child-free is really a wonderful option for couples.

I didn't find anything totally wrong with that if a couple chooses not to have children or they simply cannot have children, it's ok to cheerfully embrace being childless.

But, what made my heart sink was reading her guest posts from mothers who regretted having their children, and wished that they had remained child-free. These posts were to serve as "inspiration" to other women of the "reality" of being a mother. It's mainly a regrettable decision.




The main reasons many of the women cited for regretting their children:

1. Lack of time to themselves.

2. Compromises with their career.

3. Drain on their finances.

4. Missed their carefree, before children lifestyle.

I thought about a previous post I wrote about teaching our daughters to love motherhood.

I shared my struggles with motherhood. Have I had moments when I wanted to go back to my before children life of having an abundance of free time? Sure. Did the moment last? No.

I think many mothers have had their moments of wanting to have more time to themselves, and miss their pre children life. But, to just say you regret being a mother period is a huge statement. Yes, motherhood can be quite hard. It's challenging, and yes it's hard work to instill values, be consistent with discipline, and have the patience of Michelle Duggar while raising children. But, it's a wonderful job that I wouldn't trade for anything.

It did make me think about the fact that in Titus 2 the Bible admonishes the older women to TEACH the younger women how to love her children.

That would imply to me that it's not as natural as breathing to love your children, as in loving the day in day out task of mothering them. When you're exhausted, overwhelmed, frustrated, you need someone to talk to who has been in your shoes, and can offer you a glimmer of hope that everything will be alright, or offer tips for how they handled discipline, whining, maintaining patience, maintaining sanity(?),etc.

Motherhood requires selflessness, and when you're really selfish, it is a lot HARDER to love being a mother. Praying daily, developing a servant's heart, and having mothering support is crucial.

I'll contine in a later post with great links to encourage mothers in this mothering journey.

Linking up with
Titus 2 Tuesday

Titus 2sDay

My daughter, Alexa, was born Tuesday, March 27th. I praise God that I was able to have a successful vaginal birth!!! I'm still in awe that I was able to birth naturally. I experienced prodromal labor, which is when you are in pre-labor for a few days or more.

I had been having painful contractions from Thursday to Monday. Monday morning I couldn't sleep hardly at all because I had contractions starting around 1 a.m. until around 5:30 a.m., coming around every 10-15 minutes. I was sooooo tired!!! Once I officially woke up for the day the contractions came at a slower pace. I was so exhausted, so my Dad came to pick up my older two children to watch them so I could get some rest.

Well, I felt depressed. I was so tired of experiencing contractions that seemed to lead nowhere. I began thinking to myself, what if this goes on for another week? I will be dead to the world, I can't take it. In this moment of depression I called my husband to vent. I started crying about how exhausted I was, and I was so ready for the baby to come. He tried to soothe me over the phone, and I felt a little bit better to get my frustrations off my chest.

About an hour later while I was sitting on my bed watching a Lifetime movie my water broke! I jumped off the bed and ran to the bathroom, and I was extremely excited that my labor had officially started. Yay!!

About two hours later my husband and I checked into the hospital. When the nurse checked me I was 5 centimeters. This was around 5 p.m. Well, I labored on through the evening, walking around, sitting on a birthing ball, leaning on my husband.

I was EXHAUSTED!! I had had no sleep basically for the entire day, and all I wanted to do was rest. My doula encouraged me that I needed to move around to make my labor progress. But, I managed to take naps here and there when I could.

Around midnight I began to lose hope that the baby would ever come out of me naturally. I just. wanted. to. go. to. sleep!!!

Finally around 3 a.m. the doctor said that I was complete!! I honestly was starting to give up and didn't think I would have any energy to push. But, somehow hearing that it was time gave me a boost of energy out of nowhere!

I began pushing, and the doctor said that I wasn't pushing effectively. After a couple of pushes, I realized that pushing a baby out is quite similar to pushing when doing number 2. I thought I was supposed to push in the vaginal area, but really it's more pushing in your bottom. Lesson learned.

My daughter was born at 3:46 a.m., and I just couldn't believe that I actually had a successful VBAC! It was all worth it as I held my precious little baby girl.

It's Getting Close

My due date is right around the corner. I'm due March 25th, and I'm so looking forward to meeting my new little person!!

For those who asked, I did decide to use a doula. I hired her last week. My husband kind of did not see the need to hire one, and I wasn't totally sure that I needed to either, but I want to do everything that I can to try to have a successful vaginal birth this time around. So, we went ahead and hired one, and I do feel a greater sense of comfort knowing that I have one.

On the school front:

I shared a few weeks ago about feeling sad about sending my son to kindergarten this upcoming school year. And, you know what would make me feel better about it? Him attending a half day kindergarten. I've researched, and there really aren't that many schools in my area that offer half day kindergarten, but I'm excited that there are a few.

Doing that, to me, will ease the transition for him (and ME!!)to going to school each day. My husband thinks maybe he should just go for the full day and get used to that, but in my mind I think going a half day is perfect. I don't even feel that sad about him starting kindergarten if I know he's only going a half day. I think the school day is just too long. 8-3 is a long time for a 5 year old to be at school. Maybe I'm overthinking this. . . but, back in the day many kindergartens were half days, so I don't quite think that I'm just being a hovering mommy.

Waiting for Baby

I'm pretty excited and anxious about meeting my new little one. I'm also kind of excited and scared about labor. You know how when you're really excited about something the time seems to drag? Well, I feel like this pregnancy is going slowly, although I know it really isn't.

So, I've been focusing my mind on a few things:

*Enjoying every minute that I can with my two children. My goal is to get out of the house each day and do something fun that they would enjoy from now until the baby comes. It will be a fun adventure for all of us, and it's great bonding time. Today we went to the mall and I let them play in the children's zone, and they had a blast. We then ate lunch in the food court, and had ice cream cones. Then we walked around the mall, and I did a bit of shopping.

*Organizing/Decorating my home. I'm in super nesting mode. For the past few weeks I have been consumed with decorating thoughts and ideas, and ways that I want to spruce up our home before the baby gets here. I feel a sense of accomplishment when I organize and slowly decorate our place.

*Continuing to read childbirth books. I absolutely love reading about childbirth and mothering.

*Making sure that I complete most of my online master's work ahead of time, so that it's done with before baby gets here. Now, if I had excellent forethought, I would have just not taken any classes this semester, but I was not exercising smart thinking. Not sure if I've shared, but a year ago I started my Master's in School Library Media. Although I got recertified to teach, if I have to go back to a full or part time job, I would love for it to be in a school library. In a few years it would be ideal, I think, to work part-time as a school librarian. But, it would be even more ideal to work successfully from home doing something that involves books or something else that I love.

So, I have enough going on that I'm not too anxious about our pending arrival. But, I can't wait to meet her, and the children are so excited too!

Back Home

I'm finally done with my teacher certification program!! This is my first week back home full time with my children, and it's been great. My husband had been home during the day with them, but he started school fulltime, which the military pays for, last week.

The children are excited about the baby in my tummy. At least once a week my son asks me if the baby is going to come out now. He's anxious to meet his new sibling.

I'm five months along, and I'm deciding on whether to switch to a more VBAC friendly doctor. The one I chose, I thought was VBAC friendly, but she said that she only supports vaginal births after one c-section, and I have had two.

I'm nervous about trying for a VBAC, and I'm nervous about possibly having another C-section. I try not to think about it too much, and stay positive. I have been reading a lot of great posts through ICAN, specifically I Can of Atlanta's message board. It has been inspiring to read so many VBAC success stories.

Each Day is Important

It's a rainy Labor Day here, and I'm savoring this relaxed time at home with my family. Sometimes I forget how important my job is as mother to my children, and my responsibility to train and mold them. Sometimes I get in a rut, and feel like I'm going through the motions. But, today I just thought about how powerful my role as mother is.

I am so blessed to be their mommy. My daughter just turned 3 a few days ago, so for three weeks I will have two three year olds! My son will turn 4 at the end of September. It's funny that they are the same age for exactly three weeks every year.

I was reading a few weeks ago about Marian Robinson, Michelle Obama's mother, who was a full-time homemaker until Michelle was in high school. She taught both of her children to read before they entered school. They were allowed to watch 30 min. of TV while they were young children, and spent much of their day reading and playing board games.

Reading that inspired me, because Marian Robinson and her husband laid a strong foundation for their children, who both ended up very successful. I love hearing stories of women who were homemakers and proud of their role, and the fruits of their labors.

It gives me more motivation to be the best wife and mother that I can be. Even when daily life seems mundane, it really is not, because each day, every routine, everything I teach, is helping to shape and mold my children, and it is important.

Preparing Girls for Career and Children

I just read an interesting article about Jill Berry, the president of the Girls' School Association, discussing how important it is to give young girls a realistic view of balancing careers with children. She said that it's important to let girls know that it's ok to not work when they have young children or to work part time.

She feels that it is a disservice to young ladies to make them believe that they have to do it all. Of course, some women can, but they need to know that it's okay if they do not try to do it all.

The article states:

A lot of our girls want to have it all. That is perfectly acceptable and anything we can do to prepare them, we will. But we need to make them realistic. At different stages of their lives, they may want different things.

"There is nothing wrong with them saying 'I need to work part-time' or 'I need support in order to enable me to do my career and have children'.

"Women can feel very guilty, whatever path they choose. It is as if they have somehow compromised their principles. What we can do as teachers is prepare them to have aspirations, but not aim for perfection. We can help them recognise that life is about balance."

Berry, who does not have children, said that unless girls were taught this, teachers were "in danger of betraying them".

She said: "There is an unprecedented pressure on girls and more women are going back to work early after having children now. It can all work fine, until their child is ill."

Berry said a top-quality education gave girls the skills to "generate options" for themselves, which could be used both in the workplace, and the home.

You can read more of this article here.

I completely agree that women should be honest with young ladies and let them know that they do not have to be perfect and try to "have it all." I thought it was an excellent article.

This post is linked with:

Raising Homemakers

Women Living Well

Tests

When I was in college, I remember a pastor saying that when it comes to tests in life, you're either tested on what you teach or you teach what you've been tested on.

I understand that saying more now than ever. I've always believed in being a stay at home mother, whatever the cost, and have encouraged others to stay at home with their children while they are young. But, I have definitely been tested on my convictions lately.

Today is the first day of being home full-time, since I started my part-time job last October. I am so happy and joyous that I'm here with the children, and we have just enjoyed each other, played with play-doh, put puzzles together, and other learning acitivities. It's been a blessing.

But, I know that now more than ever it is imperative that I buckle down with my work from home business, because I want to be here with them at least for the next two years.

But, today, I'm just enjoying being home with my babies. . . exactly where I'm supposed to be.

Womanly Inspiration

I just read a wonderful article on the grand investments of homemakers. It can become so easy to lose sight of our priorities as wives and mothers, and this article really hit home for me and made me remember that the investments that I make in my family are the most important ones right now.

I encourage you to read the article here.

The article really blessed me and I hope that it does the same for you!

Fabulously Pregnant

Pregnant in Heels is one of my new favorite shows to watch. I so enjoy watching shows about pregnancy and motherhood. Motherhood is one of those life changing careers, and I love watching how people respond to the call.

I am completely fascinated by watching mothers on tv. I sometimes laugh to myself, because I can relate to certain funny moments or I cringe because I see a mother do something that I have done, and seeing it from another view, I realize I need to change.

Like my voice, for example. I'm working on using a more gentle and patient voice with my children. If I have to say something more than once to my children, I sometimes get annoyed and take on a strident tone of voice, which, honestly is annoying even to my own ears.

But, when I hear other mothers use that harsh voice, I inwardly cringe, and think, I need to work on that.

So, I'm working on speaking gently, my voice laced with love and patience at all (most?) times. Firm, yet loving. Not strident.

But, anyways, I was saying that I enjoy watching Pregnant in Heels. It is a delightful show that follows Rosie Pope, who created a business catering to pregnant women, from designing maternity clothes, to being a "maternity concierge", as she educates and helps stylish, wealthy women navigate the terrains of pregnancy and motherhood. It seems like a cool business to have.

I have enjoyed seeing her educate mothers-to-be on important baby care-taking tasks, and seeing the transformation in mothers as they fall in love with their baby and realize the importance of their new role as mommy. I just love watching the transforming power of motherhood.

Align Your Life With Your Values

I have a few more weeks left for my part-time job, and then I'll be back to being a SAHM, and I can't wait!!

God has really been working on my heart lately about this, and I have to work harder at earning money from home, and spending money wisely.

There is nothing else more important than raising my children right now, and I have to align my life along that belief, even when things are difficult.

Here's an excerpt from an interview with Dr. Laura about the importance of mothers staying home with their children.

WSJ: Where do stay-at-home dads fit into the picture?

Dr. Laura: I recommend that during the first three years, the mom should be at home because all of the research shows that the person whose body you come out of and whose breast you suck at, at that stage, really needs to be the mom — unless she’s incompetent, irrelevant and immaterial. After that, flip a coin.

WSJ: At what point do you advise mothers to go back to work?

Dr. Laura: The answer is never. One woman asked me the other day when I think mothers should be home, and I told her, “Whenever your kid is at home.” When [my son] Deryk started kindergarten, it was from 8 to 3. So I arranged to be on the air from 11 to 2. That was it. He always had a mom. Quite frankly, my mom was one of the least warm mommies out there. Nonetheless, when I came home from school, she was always there and it made me feel safe.

WSJ: What about the women who can’t choose their hours?

Dr. Laura: Well, everyone’s capable of it. For everything in life, you have to make a priority list. This must be done. If we truly believe in something and cherish it, we find a way to make it happen. Women go from making seven-figure salaries to staying at home, and things just start to be less important. . . You don’t have to work 9 to 7. If your priority is to raise your child, it’s not just a matter of making sure they don’t get killed or have food to eat. The question is, “Do you want them to learn what’s moral and of value from your perspective?”

Read the full article here.

Photo: Beulah's Baby Primrose Paschal

Full-time mothering

I feel strongly more than ever that being an at home mom is the best thing for me. I've been working part-time for the past few months, and that's ok, but that combined with school and having to observe in a classroom adds more hours away from home. And. . . I don't like it. I'm looking to get back into pursuing freelance writing again, and with more fervor, because I miss being at home full-time.

I felt inspired reading about a few single mothers who are stay at home mothers. I don't know the specifics of how they are able to do that, but I figure, surely I can figure out how to do so, especially since I know that it's what I'm supposed to do. I just feel it in my heart. I guess I feel that being a stay at home mother is almost synonomous with being a good mother, and I'm trying to fight those feelings of not being a good mother.

There are those who say to just trust God and walk out on faith, and He will provide. It's great to say, but harder to do. But, my job ends at the end of May, so I kind of won't have a choice but to trust that God will provide. I hope that I will be blessed with a great writing opportunity and land back where I belong: at home with my children.

The Blessing of Girls

Yesterday I watched a show on the Discovery Health channel entitled, "8 Boys Wanting a Girl". The show followed a couple of families who had boys who were desperate to have a girl. One woman had 8 sons, and was hoping for a girl. Her very first child was a girl who did not make it full term, and she has grieved for that daughter that she should have had and has never had.

Two other women had four boys. One tried one more time to get pregnant and she prayed fervently that this fifth child that she was carrying would be a girl, because this was her last time trying. She went to the doctor for the ultrasound and found out that she was carrying. . . another boy. She broke down in tears and quickly composed herself and said it was ok and that she was fine.

Later in the show she said she did not know what to do with her sadness over knowing that she will never have a daughter.

The other lady that had four boys tried a type of in vitro fertilization that allows parents to choose the sex that they want and have that embryo implanted in them. They had 8 embryos and only one was a girl. She was very excited.

The doctors implanted the female embryo, and told her to take a pregnancy test in 9 days to confirm that she was pregnant, and that everything was a success.

She took her pregnancy test, and sadly, she was not pregnant. She was crushed and broke down into tears.

I was completely fascinated watching this show. Astoundingly, the last woman profiled had four boys and was not married to the father, and refused to marry him until they had daughters. They did the in vitro fertilization that allows you to choose the sex, and they ended up with twin girls.

She married the father, and she said that is so thankful,and that it was completely worth it. Her girls are everything that she hoped for and more.

Now, for the commentary:

Most of the women on the show said that people thought they were crazy for wanting a girl so badly, and that they should just be thankful for the children they already have. And, these women wanted to feel that way too, but they just couldn't shake their strong desires for a girl.

It sounds so selfish and absurd, but, honestly,. . . I could relate to them in a way.

Is it right? I don't think so. But, is it a feeling that many women have? Yes.

It sounds sad and pathetic, but I understood what these women were feeling to some degree, because I felt the same way with my own children.



Growing up I always wanted to have a son first, and then a daughter. I always wanted to end up having two boys and two girls. After being a teacher, though, I began to really long for having a daughter.

In my thinking boys were a handful: they were super active, always had to be moving around, always into things, most of my behavior problems were boys. And, the thing was they weren't bad boys. Most of them were kind hearted and good boys, but they were just so active!!

Most of my girl students on the other hand were sweet and quiet and sat attentively in class, and it did not take much to get them back in line if they were disruptive. Afer being a teacher I couldn't wait to have a little girl of my own, plus there were sooooo many cute things for little girls.

When I got pregnant with my first child, I just assumed I was having a girl, and daydreamed about all of the cute stuff she would have, the fun things we would do, and that I would have a little person like me. When my husband and I were at the doctor to find out the sex of the baby and I found out it was a boy, I was crushed. I surprised myself with how crushed I was.

Embarrasingly, tears sprang to my eyes, and I tried to hide them, but my husband saw them and looked at me with bewilderment. After leaving the doctor's office he told me that he couldn't believe I was crying over having a boy. I should be thankful just to have a healthy baby. Of course, I knew he was right, but it did nothing to stop the sadness over not having a little girl. All I could think about were the little boys I used to teach, and how superactive they were, and I thought what life would be like ahead.

But, as my pregnancy went along, I became more and more excited about his arrival. When I had him, I was so overwhelmed with joy and happiness, and he has been a true blessing in my life.

When I found out I was expecting again I prepared myself for having another boy. When we went to find out the sex, I was so nervous, and silently prayed for a girl. I was so excited when I found out I was having a girl.

I was so excited that wasn't even that sad about having another C-section. I was really upset about having a C-section the first time, and was depressed about it for awhile afterwards. Anyways, I was laying on the operating table just giddy with excitement, not even caring that I'm having another C-section, I just couldn't wait to meet my daughter.

So, I could relate in some ways with what these women felt. And I felt bad for them, because I know that there are blessings with having both boys and girls. Have you ever noticed when a woman has one of each sex, people are like, oh good, you have one of each now. It's a blessing to have children, period. But, it's also great to have boys and girls, and not just one sex.

Obviously if a couple just has one sex of children they have to be thankful for what they have and realize that God doesn't make a mistake.




So, what's so great about having girls:

1. You can do girly things with them.
2. They are like human baby dolls that you get to dress up and enjoy. :)
3. You can train a little homemaker and have a helper in the kitchen and around the house.
4. You have someone to pass on womanly wisdom to, and see that wisdom manifest in her life.
5. You have someone to go shopping with and go to tea with. I love afternoon tea, and I have a little girl that can share in that pastime with.
6. In a way, you can relive your own childhood. You get to reexperience playing with dolls, having tea with your dolls, and just remembering how you were as a girl.
7. As they get older, you (hopefully) have a best friend. My mother is definitely one of my best friends, and we have always had a close, special relationship. My grandmother is one of my mother's best friends. And, I hope when my daughter is older that we will be best friends too.
8. There are many more. . .

Boys are blessings too, no doubt, and I will do another post about the joys of boys.
Watching the show just struck a chord in me and I understood their sadness. Having a girl is a blessed thing for many reasons, and I am thankful that God blessed me with one of each.

Who Is Raising The Children?

I've been taking classes toward my teacher recertification, which has been a good experience for the most part. I'm taking a class on Dialects, which I thought would be extremely boring, but it has turned out to be relatively interesting. So, yesterday the class started doing short presentations about our research projects, and one lady presented on how her children speak differently and she wanted to research how children acquire language. Her husband is from Virginia and one of her daughters speaks with a Virginian accent and the other daughter speaks with more of a Southern accent.

The professor then shared his experience and said that his daughters had the same experience. The woman who cared for his children had a very strong Southern accent, and he and his wife do not. But, for the longest time his children did, because of being around her.

And he said, "It was amazing that my children had the exact same accent as the woman who raised them, . . . I mean, who helped to raise them."

I thought to myself, no, you had it right the first time. The woman who raised them.

When women go to work and leave the care of their children with someone else everyday for the majority of the children's waking hours, then that person is raising them.

And it's sad.

The other day a radio personality talked about the guilt that so many working mothers face. They feel guilty for not being there for their children, and so they try to make up for it with material things, and trying to give them everything that they want. Which, obviously, does more harm than good. Material things cannot make up for a mother's absence in the home.

There are many women that feel that they must work to help their family, and I think the best solution to that is working part-time or working from home if possible. With the economy as it is it can be very challenging for families right now. But, I don't think that children have to be completely abandoned for a family to stay afloat.

Raising children, especially during the first 3- 5 years is so crucially important to do while being home with them. I think whatever sacrifice is necessary to take to ensure that a mother is home with her children during their most informative years is worth it. There is always time to go back to a career. But, you can never get back the years that you are the center of your child's world.

Protecting Our Children

I watched The Oprah Show last Friday which featured Tyler Perry and 200 men who were victims of childhood sexual abuse. The show was heartbreaking to watch. Oprah shared the statistics that 1 out of 4 girls are sexually abused by the age of 18, and that 1 out of 6 boys are sexually abused by the age of 18. My jaw dropped. I couldn't believe it.

Many people when having daughters think about how they have to watch out for their daughters so they are not taken advantage of. Most people don't think about being overprotective with their boys. But, now, parents really need to be.




It makes me consider being an overprotective parent. I know in our society overprotective parents are kind of made fun of, and often told to loosen up, let their child go and have fun, you don't have to be around them all the time, etc. But, now I'm thinking being overprotective is the best and safest way to raise my children.Many of these stories these young boys shared involved trusted males in their lives from fathers to stepfathers, uncles, older counsins, priests and other church leaders, boy scout leaders, and even teachers! It's scary!!

It makes me feel distrustful of leaving my children alone while they are young with anyone besides their grandparents.

While watching the show I thought about Elizabeth Krueger whose wonderful website, Raising Godly Tomatoes, has great advice for raising Godly children. She talks about how she keeps her children close to her, and doesn't really allow them to associate with people outside of their family. When they do socialize with others it's as a family. She doesn't allow her teenagers to hang out with their friends without parental supervision.

When I first read about that on her website I thought maybe that was taking it a bit overboard, but now I'm not so sure. I think while children are young, up to their teen years children need to be very closely observed and mainly kept around their family if at all possible. I think doing otherwise is just too risky this day and age.




And honestly, it's not just this day and age, this has been going on for awhile. Most of the men on the show were in their 30-50's, some even older than that. So this is not somethng new. I know of an older relative in her 50's who said that her parents went fishing many weekends and left her and her siblings in the care of their aunt and her family. She has often said that she wished that her parents were more observant and protected them more, because things went on there that shouldn't have. She has been molested by family members, and feels that if her mother had been more watchful then it probably wouldn't have happened.

I just feel that parents have a responsiblity to protect their children, even if it means being overprotective. Sure, allow children to have their friends come over, allow yourself a break now and then and let them stay with grandparents or someone you really trust. But, for the most part, I think children need to be with their parents where they can keep a watchful eye on their children and raise and train them up in the way that they should go.

Strange Thoughts. . . Or Not So Strange

I've been feeling weird lately. Strange thoughts. Thoughts that I didn't think I would have for a loooooong time, or maybe not again. I'm almost scared to write it. . .but, . . . I kind of want another. . . oh, dare I say it,. . . baby.

I'm tempted to delete this post, because the last time that I thought, "Hmm, it would be nice to have another baby," I got pregant soon after. So, I have purposely pushed thoughts of more children out of my head.

When my son was 2 months old, I actually began to want another baby because it seemed like he was growing so fast. I figured another baby would help ease the sadness of him growing so fast. These were passing thoughts, because I don't think I actually wanted to get pregannt so fast( which was the following month).

It has been very busy having two children close together, and I haven't even entertained the thought of having another one.

But, lately when I see little babies with their mothers, I feel a twinge of. . . longing I guess. I would enjoy nursing and caring for another baby, and seeing my children be a big brother and sister. I think it would be fun.

It's a thought. It may pass. But, now I see why women have five or six children and seem pretty happy about it. It really is a blessing. . . which can sometimes be hard to remember while in the throes of parenting toddlers.

A Better Way to Prepare Daughters for the "What If"

Preparing daughters to be homemakers may seem like a fairy tale idea to some. What if a young woman goes through a divorce, her husband dies, or in some other way is left to raise her children and support them.

What are we as parents to do? I have read a number of articles about preparing daughters for the "just in case", and I recently read a wonderful article by Mrs. Wayne Hunter of Fascinating Womanhood Alaska about ways that parents can still raise their daughters to be homemakers, but still prepare them to remain a homemaker if they are suddenly found husbandless.

Reading the article opened my eyes to ideas that I had not thought of in blessing my daughter for the just in case. I think it is one of the best articles on how to truly prepare daughters for the "what if". I encourage you to read it.

Here's a snippet:

Many mothers want to prepare their daughters by insisting that they get college degrees for professions in case they: never marry, marry but their husbands abandon them or the marriage ends in divorce, or marry but become widows at a somewhat early age. While this seems logical and like a good plan to many, the damage done by it can be irreversible and can undo a lot of teaching we’ve given our daughters on to how to be God-fearing women.

Read the full article here.





Check out Raising Homemakers for more great posts on preparing daughters to be homemakers!

Teaching Our Daughters To Love Motherhood

Precious Moment
by Hulis Mavruk


I have been really blessed by the Raising Homemakers website, and today I want to share about ways to teach our daughters to love motherhood. Because as Titus 2 mothers, that is one of the things we are to teach the younger women (our daughters), to love their children.

How do we do that?

For me, I think about the biggest challenges of being a mother for myself. They are:

1. Patience

2. Desiring too much "me time." A.k.a. Selfishness

3. Selfishness

4. Training/Discipline

The common attitude among many women, and people in general, is that children are a burden. It is implied in the many remarks that people make about having children, like how their children drive them crazy, why would you want more than one or two, how they can't wait for their children to leave the house, etc.

Some people say that raising children is easy, and that it is not rocket science to raise good children. I think that's great for those people, and I wish that I could join their ranks. But, I am not at that station in life yet. For me, right now, I think that motherhood is hard.

There is a great post at Generation Cedar about the blessings of having children here. It was quite thought provoking, and I came away from it thinking, the reason a lot of women do not embrace having a lot of children is because it is HARD! At least for me it is. It is a daily struggle to fight my selfish nature and be the servant that God wants me to be. I want my daughter to enjoy motherhood, but what can I do as she grows up to prepare her for the joys and challenges of motherhood?


Our Little Angel
M.C. Wrey


The main thing that I can think of besides her committing her life to Jesus Christ is learning to

SERVE OTHERS.

Motherhood is about serving others, and I think the more of a servant spirit one has, the easier it is to embrace motherhood. Serving others helps to combat selfishness. The more you do it, the more natural it becomes. Serving the needs of others is key to being a great mother. Especially with mothering young children, you must anticipate and take care of their needs, even when it is inconvenient for you. And, that was a hard pill to swallow, and sometimes still is. I now have a smile on my face when my daughter wakes up in the middle of the night and disturbs my sleep. Thankfully it doesn't happen often, but I've learned to embrace the inconvenience and snuggle with my baby for a few moments and lay her back down.

I think it is important for mothers to help cultivate a servant's spirit and heart in our daughters. Doing so will help mold daughters who anticipate the needs of and delights to serve the needs of her family, whether it's helping her mother around the house, taking over the cooking, caring for her siblings, giving her mother a break, and just finding ways to be an asset to her family.

I think it's important, too, to make sure that our children volunteer outside of the home and serve others. The few times I did so as a teenager made me feel so great inside to know that I was helping others. What a blessing to volunteer on a regular basis so that it is a habit to always think of the need of others, and not just focus on our own wants and needs.

I will end with an excerpt of a great post from another blog, Virtuous Living. A woman with 12 children tells of how she learned to embrace motherhood, and all of the children God wanted her and her husband to have.

She said,

It is true, that when you trust the Lord you are blessed in abundance. Children truly are an heritage of the Lord and happy is the man who's quiver is full of them. I would never change a thing. I have no regrets, nor do I feel I have neglected the ME in myself. Whosoever will find himself will lose it, and whosoever will lose himself shall find it. That's what I did. I put the ME away and tried with all my heart to do as the Lord bid.

Visions for my Daughter

*m.c. wrey, "my precious"

I delight in being feminine, and I want my daughter to do the same. It's amazing that so many people around me, who know that I delight in femininity, enjoy telling me that my daughter is going to be a rough and tough little tomboy, because she is an active almost 2 year old and she loves to climb on things. When we go places she usually wears a dress, unless she is going to be outside at the park and could get dirty then she'll wear a pair of shorts.

These same people, usually women, tell me that they were tomboys, and it's a good thing. I'm starting to think that they are secretly hoping that she will reject being a feminine, girly girl.

I usually don't respond to their comments, because I do not think there is much need. Young children will be young children, and that does not make them a tomboy. I enjoyed climbing trees with my brother, riding bikes, exploring in the woods, and playing basketball when I was younger. It was fun, and it was part of having a great childhood. But, I never considered myself a tomboy. I also enjoyed playing with my dolls, pretending to be a teacher to them, helping take care of my younger brother and sister, and wearing dresses and "looking pretty."



What things am I doing now to help nurture my daughter's femininity?

- Letting her help me clean. She enjoys dusting and wiping off the table.

- Dressing her like a little girl.

- Encouraging her to speak with a soft voice when she likes to get loud and boisterous.

- Letting her watch me cook, and "help" me with simple cooking tasks, like stirring.

- Praying vigilently over my daughter that God would mold her into the young lady that she needs to be, that He helps her maintain her purity until marriage, and live a life that is pleasing unto Him.

- Be an example of a feminine, Godly wife, mother and woman for her to see everyday. Knowing that I have little eyes watching me and mimicking me forces me to constantly try to be the best that I can be.

Do want more inspiration to raise your daughter to be a homemaker and embrace her femininity? Check out RaisingHomemakers.com !!