Regretting children

Yesterday I happened upon a website about being child free. The blog author's goal for writing is to share the beauty of living a child-free lifestyle. She wrote about how the U.S. is such a family and child centered country, and how being child-free is really a wonderful option for couples.

I didn't find anything totally wrong with that if a couple chooses not to have children or they simply cannot have children, it's ok to cheerfully embrace being childless.

But, what made my heart sink was reading her guest posts from mothers who regretted having their children, and wished that they had remained child-free. These posts were to serve as "inspiration" to other women of the "reality" of being a mother. It's mainly a regrettable decision.




The main reasons many of the women cited for regretting their children:

1. Lack of time to themselves.

2. Compromises with their career.

3. Drain on their finances.

4. Missed their carefree, before children lifestyle.

I thought about a previous post I wrote about teaching our daughters to love motherhood.

I shared my struggles with motherhood. Have I had moments when I wanted to go back to my before children life of having an abundance of free time? Sure. Did the moment last? No.

I think many mothers have had their moments of wanting to have more time to themselves, and miss their pre children life. But, to just say you regret being a mother period is a huge statement. Yes, motherhood can be quite hard. It's challenging, and yes it's hard work to instill values, be consistent with discipline, and have the patience of Michelle Duggar while raising children. But, it's a wonderful job that I wouldn't trade for anything.

It did make me think about the fact that in Titus 2 the Bible admonishes the older women to TEACH the younger women how to love her children.

That would imply to me that it's not as natural as breathing to love your children, as in loving the day in day out task of mothering them. When you're exhausted, overwhelmed, frustrated, you need someone to talk to who has been in your shoes, and can offer you a glimmer of hope that everything will be alright, or offer tips for how they handled discipline, whining, maintaining patience, maintaining sanity(?),etc.

Motherhood requires selflessness, and when you're really selfish, it is a lot HARDER to love being a mother. Praying daily, developing a servant's heart, and having mothering support is crucial.

I'll contine in a later post with great links to encourage mothers in this mothering journey.

Linking up with
Titus 2 Tuesday

Titus 2sDay