Monday, May 11, 2009

Staying At Home With The Kids Is Not a Bad Choice

While reading a new blog the other day, I happened upon a comment made to a post about being a stay at home mom. The lady said that she would not be disappointed if her daughter became a musician or artist, even though it's an unstable occupation, but she would be MOST disappointed if her daughter became a stay at home mom. She went on to say that she values and respects many stay at home moms, so she doesn't know why she feels that way.

Interesting. I was kind of stunned that she would say that she would be most disappointed if her daughter became a stay at home mom, like that is the worst that she could do with her life. The commenter is a working mother. Growing up, I have always been admonished by my parents and grandparents to "get your education." And, I did. The main reason was so that I would end up being successful, and have plenty of money to do the things that I wanted. I don't think my parents are disappointed that I'm a stay at home mother at this point. They look at it as a temporary situation because I have two small children at home.

In many ways, I have looked at it as a temporary situation, too. It is a financial struggle for me to stay at home. If I went back to teaching, I would have a guaranteed and stable income every month, and our lives would be financially very comfortable. But, at what cost to my children, at this juncture? I do work from home, but with two small and demanding children, I am not able to devote the time that I need to my work from home. If we only had these two children, then I would feel comfortable going back to teaching when my daughter enters school. But, what if I get pregnant again? Then, that's more years at home.

God has provided in wonderful ways so far, and I trust that He will continue to do so. I know that He will open doors as needed. Plus, I'm starting to really get into what being an excellent wife, mother, and homemaker is really about, and I'm eager to stay home and excel in the role that God has for me. More to come later about that. . .


Linda said...

Staying at home with the kids and being a wife, mother and homemaker is a wonderful profession. Don't let her comment throw you off course. You are doing the best thing for your kids! (smile)

Love and admiration,
Linda @ Truthful Tidbits

Donalacasa said...

My mom always wanted me to have something to "fall back on" if my marriage didn't work out. She has been married 3 times. I have been married only once for the past 23 years. I didn't finish my education and for years my mother treated me as if I had jumped out of a plane with no parachute.

I am teaching my daughter to finish her education before she marries. She wants to be an attorney, but if sometime down the road she decides she wants to stay at home with my future grandbabies, I will not consider her to be wasting her life or her education.


Love Abounds At Home said...

I remember walking away from a good paying job and my co-workers thought I was crazy. As my kids got older, they needed me more and more. I remember my best friend at the time telling me that she "wants to have nice things in life." I'm like...hello...what woman doesn't.
She was a school teacher and her daughter had to repeat some grades. Go figure!
So glad that I made the choice to stay home. When you're kids are bigger, you will look back and have no regrets!

Cindy said...

I think the two are not mutually exclusive: you can be both a great SAHM and very educated. In fact, the better educated you are, the better SAHM you are going to be. Raising children and running a home is hard, taxing work, and it takes some serious smarts to do it right.

Jean Zimmerman wrote a great book on this, called "Made from Scratch: Reclaiming the Pleasures of the American Hearth" about how we (as a society) continually devalue women's work within the home and what a mistake that is.

People tell me all the time that I'm NOT a SAHM, because I work from home (I'm a writer) yet -- I'm the one here 24/7, who manages the children and the home. Apparently there's something inherently wrong with me saying I'm a SAHM, as if I'm diminishing myself by claiming that title. To which I say Baloney, because if we truly value our children as much as we say we do, there'd be MORE SAHMs, not less.

(Wow -- mega comment! Hi, I'm Cindy, and I've been lurking for a while. I love your blog! *grin*)

L.H. said...

I never thought I would be a STAHM. Like you, everyone told me to "get my education, travel, have your own money" and that was success.

However, after graduating from college and getting married, etc I began to learn more about the needs of small children. I believe it was the Lord that began to deal with me about the importance of being a homemaker.

I quit my full-time position and have been home for almost four years now. I DO NOT have any plans for going back to full-time work. I feel "free" now to do what I really love and to give my family my
"prime time" not leftovers.

I believe its God's way and that the payoffs in the end will be huge. We have struggled financially, especially when I first stopped working. But, God has not only provided for us, but he has also brought us out financially. In the process of it all I have gotten to know God so much better! I wouldn't trade that for anything!

S. Belle said...

I appreciate the comments. I love hearing about how women chose to stay home, and the path that led them to that decision.

Cindy, I'm glad to hear that you love my blog. Thanks for stopping by!

Our Cross Stitching Home said...

Thank you for this post. My husband and I have been blessed to be able to juggle schedules to keep the children home with us, and we have been homeschoolingnow for a number of years. I wouldn't trade anything for the experiences and the time spent with them.

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