Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Marry Wisely So You Can Be A Homemaker

Last week I discussed how important it is for us as mothers to help cultivate a spirit of service in our daughters to help prepare them for motherhood.

In raising a homemaker, I aspire to raise a daughter who loves Jesus and serves Him, who delights in taking care of others, who uses her gifts to the glory of God, who is a competent cook, can clean efficiently, and basically run a smooth running home. In other words, create a wonderful home for her family.

There is something else that I want to encourage my daughter to do as she grows up:

Marry a man who will protect and provide for her, and SUPPORTS her being a homemaker!

Lakita Garth, a powerful woman of God who inspired me greatly when I was in college, said that two of the greatest decisions that we will ever make are 1. Who we will serve. (Jesus) and 2. Who we will marry.

Both of those decisions greatly affect the rest of our life. I did not understand how who we married could be number two on the list, but I understand now.

Who we decide to marry influences our life, even whether or not we can be homemakers or not!

There are women who want to stay home, but do not because their husbands do not want them to be at home with their young children, and these women feel they must submit to their husbands and remain working outside of the home.

Of course, a wise woman will discuss whether her future spouse supports her desire to stay at home BEFORE they marry.

A wise older woman told me to make sure to marry a man who supported me in staying at home. It is not fair to marry someone and expect their views to change, because what if they do not? If being a stay at home mother is important to you, then do not marry someone who does not support that.

So, I want to train my daughter to be an excellent homemaker, but also to look for a man who is Godly and who supports being the sole financial provider while she stays home with the children. Even if it's for a season. Young children need a mother at home. As they get older, the situation may change, and so can circumstances. But, it's important for a young lady to marry a man who will support her in her endeavors to be a homemaker, if she knows up front that being a homemaker at home with her children is what she wants to do.


abba12 said...

My sister in law was engaged, just a couple months out from their wedding, when she finally realised, she was so set on getting married, she figured they could work out the kinks later. It finally occured to her that he believed many things she didn't, one of those being that he expected her to work outside the home even after children.

I'm thankful she realised before they married, but how many girls don't?

Anonymous said...

Such a great point. I did not have a relationship with Jesus when I got married, and feel very blessed that God was looking out for me then, and had different plans for my life.
I remind my daughters often of the qualities in a Godly man.

Mountain Home Quilts said...

Amen! :)

Jennifer @ The Toy Box Years said...

What a great post!!

I'm visiting you from the Raising Homemakers site and I am definitely your newest follower!

Have a great day!

Love Abounds At Home said...

Very good post! If more woman would listen to wise counsel like this, more would be home with their children.

On a Journey said...

"Marry a man who will protect and provide for her, and SUPPORTS her being a homemaker!"

My girls and I were just talking about this the other day... When my knight and I married... life was a huge ball of stress. (Long story.) But... We've told the girls that if we were truly walking with the Lord at the time that we were dating and bathing in His word, neither one of us would have married the other, because our hearts were so confused. Our marriage has truly been a miracle and I am so thankful, but it's been a hard road at times... Praise God that He redeems and works things to good for His glory! (Rm. 8:28)

With that said... One of the areas that we have struggled with off and on is my staying home. Because I was in a "honeymoon and catch 'em" phase, I wasn't honest with him about my desires to be home and I worked. Little did we know that God would bless us with a princess as soon as we were married. I had to quit my job, due to difficulties in our pregnancies and never really went back!

I am so grateful to be home, but it has been an issue of "discussion" at times. This is one area that I have not been willing to submit to him and one area that has really bothered him. Don't get me wrong... He sees the pay off of my being home and homeschooling and in his heart he knows that we're doing is best... but...

It's hard...

Now both of my daughters want to be blessed homemakers. My older one has the little "working bee" in her and wants to have a job working as a family. Like running a family coffee shop... She says "this way I can homeschool!" And she wants to have a family of at least 4-5 blessings. My younger princess wants to "beat the Duggars". Both of them know that when it's time and God brings them a knight to court them... The girls need to be upfront.

More importantly, the know NOT to rush into dating. It only brings heartache and takes pieces of you away. Instead... pray about the desires of your heart and allow God to bring a knight along... in His time.

Alright, Enough of my novel... Back to work! :0)

THanks for posting this today...

S. Belle said...

On a Journey, thank you for sharing your story. It's something that women need to hear, and I plan on doing a follow up post on some of the points that you made in your comment.


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