Sunday, July 29, 2007

Full time job . . . being a wife????

I began my adventures with reading blogs by first reading articles from the website, Ladies Against Feminism. I learned a lot from the website and blogs from contributing writers of their articles. Never before in my life had I heard, until I read from their website, that women actually were stay at home wives. And it was their choice. And it is actually encouraged among these women again feminism. Well, I agreed with most things on their site, but staying at home when you're just a wife, and you don't have any children seemed a little extreme. I mean, I didn't personally know anyone who did that and no one ever talked about quitting their job after they got married. I just considered it one of those things that I didn't quite endorse, but it's not a bad thing . . . just something that I couldn't understand how someone could justify saying that being a wife is a full-time job.

That is, until I became a wife! My husband and I have been married almost 11 months, and I've been pregnant for almost 8 months. Living out my daily duties as a wife can be quite overwhelming, especially while working. I attributed my lack of energy to pregnancy, but after coming home from work the last thing I wanted to do was cook dinner and clean the kitchen. Laundry? When there was a large load of clothes needing to be washed, and even then, how long would it take me to fold them? Days and days after they were cleaned. A totally clean house? Not quite. I figured as long as the kitchen and living room were presentable, then I was doing a pretty good job. On the weekends, I wanted to relax, not clean the house. I did my bit here and there, but . . . wait, why am I speaking in the past tense, as if this is not still going on? Being a wife is a full time job when you think about having nutritious, filling dinners ready every night, laundry caught up and put away, the whole house is clean and organized, managing the money so that it is spent wisely and trying to budget everything, paying bills, being a companionable wife when your husband is home, making sure that you look pleasing and attractive when he is around, and still have some time to do some things that you are interested in - yes it is a full time job.

At homeliving.blogspot.com, Lady Lydia says in her recent article that you can't serve two masters. You can't put your all into both being a homemaker and into your career. One has to give. And, sadly, I must admit, that being a homemaker has been the part that has suffered for me. I'm trying to work as much as I can before the baby arrives, so I will feel more comfortable financially staying home with the baby. But, I admit, that I have felt quite overwhelmed in the process. Yes, my husband helps out around the house, but still the bulk falls to me, and I know that I am not giving it my all. I'm too tired. Can I blame pregnancy on this?? I would like to, and I've realized that laziness and being a good wife do not go hand in hand.

All I can say is that there is true merit in being a stay at home wife, even though I am not one, oh, how I wish that I were. I'm just not in the position to do that yet. I will post soon about things that unmarried ladies should consider before they get married, to help them be able to stay at home after marriage and be a successful homemaker. Not that I'm an expert, just things that I wish I had had the sense to realize before I became a wife.

4 comments:

Trini said...

Well written article.

Anonymous said...

Great article. I have been a full time wife for the last year (was not legally allowed to work until my green card was issued) and it's definitely been a full time job. I put my everything into it and have very little time or energy left for a career. Being a good wife is definitely full time and a lot will have to be sacrificed when I start a full time job

ECHack said...

I wrote about you on my blog:
http://blogger-without-home.blogspot.com/2009/10/family-oriented.html

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