Monday, February 2, 2009

What's Wrong With Clingy Babies?


Happy February everyone!! I haven't posted in a couple of days, and I had been meaning to, but I was really busy. I'm so happy to hear about people finding work from home opportunities. I think that it's great!!! On Wednesday, I will post some more work from home opportunities that have worked for me, and will hopefully help someone.

Over the weekend I went over to my cousin's house for a little get together. I brought my daughter along with me. In the email invitation my cousin said that it was a ladies hour, and I was kind of excited to go. When I went, I found out that it was basically to get us together so she could pitch a product to us. It was about health pills and such, and undergarments that women can wear to help them contour their bodies, and help them to loose weight. I was a bit disappointed that the gathering was for that purpose, but I tried to enjoy myself nevertheless.

I can't remember the name of the company, but it was the kind of thing where you buy a kit and you can start your own little business by selling the stuff that was part of the kit. One of the ladies that was there did it, and she's a stay at home mom, and she said it worked well for her. The products sell themselves, and such. I was kind of interested in one of the corsets, because I need one to help me lose my little post-partum "pouch" but it cost, $168! Hmmm. I don't think I need it quite that badly. I will stick with my Pilates tape!!

Anyways, while I was there, my little Princess(who turns 5 months old tomorrow!) continued to throw fits. She cried up a storm whenever someone even looked like they were approaching her to try to hold her. An older lady that was there gave me this sage advice: "You need to get out more, and leave your baby. She obviously spends too much time right up under you. She's not used to strangers. You need to take her and leave her around strangers more often, so she won't cry when people try to hold her."

Right. That's exactly what I will do.

Another lady chimed in and said it was because I am breastfeeding her. She had nursed all of her children, and all of them were so clingy. She said it like it was a bad thing. Now, I for one, know that just because you nurse a baby doesn't mean that the child will be super attached to you. I nursed my son, and he has yet to meet a stranger. He is the friendliest baby. Even as a young baby, he would go to anyone who held their arms out. He never cried when a stranger held him or anything. So, I know that is not true.

Then of course, I was asked repeatedly when I was going to return to teaching. And, what did I do all day and such. I said that I planned on continuing to stay at home, and that I freelance write.

I continue to be amazed by people giving me baby advice, and throwing subtle hints to return to teaching. I don't understand how it affects them. I know that some people mean well, but, generally, I don't offer advice unless I'm asked. Aren't babies supposed to be attached to their mothers? Who cares if they cry around strangers? My friend from college was telling me that her adult relatives have been doing the same thing to her, basically disagreeing with the way that she's raising her baby; nursing, co-sleeping, holding her often, etc.

She asked me how I dealt with it, and I just told her that I listen and nod my head, and just continue to do what I want to do. That way, I'm not being disrespectful, there's no ensuing argument about which way is right, no hurt feelings. They eventually get the hint and hush when they see me continue to do what I feel is best for my baby. This is what I think, You had your chance to raise your children the way that you wanted, now please grant me the same respect with my children. If someone is being too pushy, I think this comment can stop them in their tracks.


Kate said...

That sort of thing just annoys me. Babies are supposed to "cling" to their mothers, and the solution is to let them! It's not like they're fifteen years old and still hiding behind our skirts, for goodness sake!

I don't think there's anything wrong with clingy babies. =)

"Which Proverbs 14:1 Woman?"

Anonymous said...

At the end of the day....who do you account to...your heavenly Father....opinions and advice are wonderful when given in humility (or when asked for...which it doesn't seem like you you did...gotta love people who want to conform you to heir "model/image") What does Augustine say...Love God, and Do What You Want" Have a blessed day, and enjoy your 5 month old! They grow up too fast anyway!

Robin said...

I have a very bossy aunt who has given me "the look" with everything I have done with all three children. She disapproves of 90% of the way we handle our babies to the point of telling me I was going to smother my 18-month-old if I kept him in our bed. She knew full well we co-slept with the older two, and they managed to survive. She insisted I drink a beer at 4:00 for milk supply, because her doctor told her do do this 40 years ago. I don't drink. Just on and on. Occasionally, I've pushed back, because she's extremely controlling. Also, no disrespect meant, but her children are not the kind of fruit I want my children to be. Lots of divorces, lots of dysfunction, and not much love and respect.

Love your blog. I'm getting ready to start working with a CPA firm. It's a start-up, and I will be able to work from home and on weekends. It will be nice to help my husband get some of our debt paid down!

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